Given that males are biologically and socially pressured to be the providers and protectors of their family unit, men are quite simply insecure about not being secure. To complicate things, they naturally desire a bit of risk, which may feed their insecurities. For example, though men desire to make lots of money, they also generally desire to spend it freely on their hobbies and interests, which can lead to financial troubles. Here is a list of the top seven insecurities men have and how we women should handle them to keep our men feeling happy and secure.
1. Men are insecure about being outperformed at work.
Let your man vent about work. Listen carefully, be agreeable and provide sound advice about supporting your man’s work. This may be as easy as doing some online research for him to get ahead or as involved as helping fund his college degree.
2. Men are insecure about not having the best toys.
Find out what your man wants before you go gift shopping. Do whatever you can to help him obtain the valuables that make him content. He will love you even more for considering his needs and wants. Get personalized advice here!
3. Men are insecure about being inexperienced sexually.
Tell him what you like, but also be sure to acknowledge the things he does in bed that you love. Do not talk about sex with your former lovers—especially if it was really good! Become more experienced together. Try new things, but let him lead the way so he feels in control.
4. Men are insecure about not having “sowed their wild oats.”
Men need a period of time to do a lot of exciting things and have a lot of sexual relationships. Generally, they want to drive fast cars, go on lots of first dates, travel, drink, experiment…. Even if they do this when they are young, they will get that itch again. Do not fight it; support it. Make compromises such as letting him buy his dream car or allowing him to go on a Vegas trip with the guys.
5. Men are insecure about other men stealing their women.
Do not flirt in person or online with other men—especially your exes. If you really are “just friends,” keep it friendly, not flirtatious.
6. Men are insecure about being financially successful.
If you are married, your finances are tied together. Do whatever you can to make you BOTH financially successful, which includes investing, budgeting, deal hunting, couponing, saving and not living beyond your means. With that said, do enjoy your money a healthy amount and acknowledge the riches your man brings to your home and relationship.
7. Men are insecure about living up to their family’s expectations.
Be proud of him! Show your pride in private AND in public. Remind him how much you appreciate him and his support of your family.
Now that you know what men’s common insecurities are, do not confuse them with valid concerns that all men experience. For example, having one’s daughter going on a first date with a “bad boy” is a valid concern. Having a serious health issue and no insurance is a seriously valid concern.
Though the insecurities listed above feel quite serious, they are dilemmas that are more emotional than anything. Women, being more sensitive, are the perfect solution for men who need help with their insecurities!