Men are supposed to be virile, energetic, and up for sex at anytime. The one time they don’t seem to want to make love is when they’re sick—and they have to be pretty sick. But this isn’t quite true. There are plenty of reasons why men push women away, and it doesn’t always have to be a really bad thing. Here are 16 reasons why he doesn’t want to sleep with you.
1. He’s Sleep Deprived
A current trend these days is to get more done by getting less sleep. But men need 7 to 8 hours in order for all their organs to function properly—including their reproductive organs. Even if the mind is willing, the body isn’t always able.
2. He’s Stressed
Stress is as destructive as lack of sleep, and unfortunately they go hand in hand. So a man who sleeps poorly due to stress won’t be in the mood for physical intimacy.
3. He’s Addicted
In order to deal with a lack of sleep and plenty of stress, some men will turn to caffeine, drugs or alcohol to get by. While these may temporarily boost the feel-good receptors in his brain, they also dumb down any feel-good potential between his legs.
4. He’s Afraid of Commitment
Some men fear commitment because it means being with the same woman for the rest of their lives. The idea of having no new sexual partners can be frightening and boring. And if they’ve been with the same partner for a while, the sex might not be as exciting as it once was, leading some men to crave it less.
5. He Can’t Read Your Signals
You may think your intentions are clear, but some men aren’t good at reading signals. You may have to hit him over the head with your desire for him before he understands that you want to sleep with him.
6. He Focuses All His Energy On One Thing
If he is ultra focused on a goal, like getting a promotion at work or training hard at the gym, he’s putting all his energy in one basket. Something is bound to go by the wayside—his hobbies, his health, his sleep or his sex life.
7. He’s In the Dog House
Arguments between a couple can lead to great make-up sex. But if the relationship is constantly unbalanced, or he is angry, he may remove himself from all forms of intimacy.
8. He’s Not in the Mood
Research suggests that men get turned on quicker than women, but that isn’t always true. Some men need to be stimulated physically, mentally and emotionally before they can sleep with their partners.
9. He’s Not Happy With His Body
Good sex has a lot to do with self-confidence. If a man isn’t happy with his body—he’s put on a bit of weight for example—he may not feel like being intimate. True, self-confidence is not necessarily size or weight specific, but a man who doesn’t love his body won’t be interested in sharing it intimately.
10. He’s Bored
Anything predictable isn’t much fun. Sex can start to feel like work if people in committed relationships don’t change things up and keep it fresh. If a man is bored with sex, he is less likely to have it.
11. He’s Taking Prescription Medication
If he’s taking prescription medication, chances are it’s for a good reason. And while prescription drugs have many health benefits, some can wreck a man’s libido. Not only could they deplete his interest, they could also prevent him from performing.
12. He Doesn’t Need That Much
For some men, quality outweighs quantity, so they would rather have great sex less often than okay sex frequently. If you require sex more often than he does, you may be in the wrong relationship.
13. He’s Cheating On You
It could be that he is getting sex elsewhere. Not all men are meant for commitment or monogamy. If he’s looking for sex outside of your relationship, chances are he’s not the commitment type.
14. He’s Watching too Much Pornography
If he is being overstimulated by unrealistic portrayals of sex and women, he may be less interested in having sex with his partner. It’s just easier to focus on satisfying himself when he doesn’t have to worry about a partner’s pleasure too.
15. He’s Getting Old
Young men have testosterone that keeps them interested in sex—they want it and they want it often. But as men age, their testosterone levels drop, possibly making them less interested in sex than their younger counterparts.
Sex is Only One Kind of Intimacy
Long-term relationships have multiple forms of intimacy—sex is just one form. If your partner’s sex drive is dwindling, many things could be causing it. But a man’s sex drive, like a woman’s, naturally has ebbs and flows, so don’t freak out if you’re not as hot and heavy as you used to be. If you’re concerned, gently bring up the lack of sex in your relationship to your partner and see where the conversation goes. Sex is an important part of any romantic relationship, but it’s not the only important part.